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Okay, this one's done. Too much depression and emoness. My new ID is shitmakesbliss and my new journal is at www.livejournal.com/users/shitmakesbliss or through the link in my AIM profile. Peace. |
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Maybe I just don't have the motivation. Don't be surprised if I pull another disapearing act. |
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Super-sized update forthcoming...Feelin' kinda....:  chipper Soundtrack provided by:: Weezer, Elliott Smith, Sondre Lerche |
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Apr. 1st, 2005 @ 02:14 am
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PLEASE: Pray for the Pope.
Please, regardless of whether you are religious or not, please, pray for the Pope. To be honest, the Catholic Church is in such a vulnerable state, I am scared to think what could happen if our current Pope isn't here to stabalize it in the midst of all this chaos. Please help me in praying for Pope's health.
Thank you. |
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Hey all. thanks for all your support after that depressing and overly emo last post. I'll do that every once in a while, and I know y'all will get sick of it soon enough. But thanks again.
I'm now a head news poster and album reviewer at www.leakmob.com. I post under the name "kevinm". Make sure to refer all other music geeks and emo kids to get their news there and help support this fledgling site.
Keep on rockin' in the free world. That's all for now.Feelin' kinda....:  Rockin' Soundtrack provided by:: Alkaline Trio, Copeland, Jump Little Children |
| » Here comes the breakdown... |
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I don't know. Maybe I'm insensitive. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm a complete jackass. I just can't seem to keep from being cynical these last couple days. A couple people I really trust are all of a sudden drastically letting me down. Are they changing, or is it just me? Maybe I'm too much a perfectionist and I expect too much from other people. Again, maybe I'm selfish. It sure does seem like I'm being terribly self-centered whenever I complain or ramble about my problems on here or to particular people; that's why I normally keep it bottled up inside. But after a while, it hurts, and I can't deal with it, and then I go into one of my bouts of severe depression and anxiety. I don't know, maybe I need therapy, maybe I need a vacation, maybe I need something else. It's kind of unsettling, honestly; I can almost always count on these fits of depression to happen just as I feel like everything's working out without a hitch for once. I always feel bad after venting because I'm usually pretty vague and I just feel like I'm being selfish by acting like the person/people might care what my idiotic, neurotic problems are (and trust me, if you don't know by now, I have many). It's crazy to me, really; I can imagine 3/4ths of the people who "know" me see me as this confident, happy, fun, content, nice guy. I mean, I think I can count on both hands the number of people who know the much more tortured and turbulent emotions inside of me. There's a troubled soul inside this hollow frame of flesh and bones. I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing, how I'm going to end up... I mean, I know these are questions EVERY college kid has at some point, but honestly, I'm oversimplifying. It's just, I hate myself, I can't stand myself but I don't have the confidence to rely on someone else fully to help me and support me. Maybe that's obstinate. Maybe that's dangerous. Maybe that's stupid. I sure don't know right now. I don't know much of anything right now.
Mar. 28th, 2005 @ 12:01 am
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| » She says it's magic, I'm floating weightless, she says it's magic, here comes the breakdown. |
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Without music, I'd probably be dead. Or stoned out of my mind 24/7.
Kevin, why can't you just figure yourself out???
Mar. 27th, 2005 @ 07:21 pm
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| » OMG!!! I LUV KEVIN'S SHOW!!!111 |
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Yeah, so even though this really is nothing special, I thought I post a little preview of what I'm playing on Sunday's radio show. Just a reminder, it's Sunday afternoon, 12-2 pm, listen to it at www.redhawkradio.com LISTEN!!!!
Cool special tracks I'm going to play
>Weezer - Beverly Hills
Final polished version of Weezer's new single from the coming album, Make Believe
>4 tracks from the new Decemberists CD, Picaresque
Just came out on the 22nd and already my choice for album of the year. Yes, above Mae. Yes, even above Weezer, Coldplay, and Alkaline Trio.
>Mae - Anything
Finally have a good copy of the possible single from the CD I've been pimping for a little over a month now. Rumor has it that either this or the new version of "Suspension" is the first single.
>Beck - Ghettochip Malfunction (Hell Yes remix)
Freaking awesome remix of Beck's "Hell Yes" from the upcoming Guero. This'll have to hold y'all over until we get the CD. (Secret thank you to Tommy Hughes for introducing me to this!)
>Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict a Riot
Okay, so this band is pretty much every music magazine's 'Next Big Thing'. This, the first single, is pretty damn catchy, so I guess they might just deserve it.
AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!
That is all for now. I pity the foo' that don't listen to my radio show this Sunday.
Your emo friend,
Kevin
EDIT: Apologies, this is just as much Audry's show if you had forgotten about that, which apparently I did, myself. So keep this in perspective pleeease.
Mar. 25th, 2005 @ 05:42 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Seriously, people, I'm at my wit's end. Most of you who actually know me well know that I am a deeply religious person and a fervent Catholic. But you know what, I almost cannot stand it now. Between the countless internal conflicts within the beauitful Church I am proud to belong to that never cease to annoy and pain me and are tearing it apart and the constant moral challenges and unbelievablely hypocritical arguments and lifestyles of some who are anti-religous or apathetic and those Christians and religious people who honestly have no right to talk like they think they know what they're saying. Let me clarify some stuff:
1- The primary thing that PISSES ME OFF is unqualified people speaking or arguing on behalf of their beliefs. This applies especially to those Catholics that think they know what it is the religion they profess to follow believes and thus make unqualified statements and accusations when they have probably never even cracked open the Catechism.
2- The secondary thing PISSES ME OFF is people who take what either a) the Bible says, b) the Pope says, or c) Catholics believe (basically, what the Catechism says) out of context and then form arguments off of it. For example the whole "the Bible says homosexuality is an abomination" PISSES ME OFF. The Bible speaks of "the abomination" as the act of homosexual sex (sexual intercourse between two or more people of the same gender), not homosexuality as a human condition. The Catholic Church and the Pope do not, I repeat, DO NOT, condemn the state of homosexuality as sinful, but instead it is the act of homosexual intercourse that is considered sin. The reason for this being the sanctity of sex, meaning preserving the PRIMARY AND SOLE PURPOSE of sexual intercourse as procreation. That is not to reduce sex to biology, nor is this an argument that I am trying to formulate against homosexual marriage or the very well-formed objection of "why, then, should infertile couples be allowed to marry/have sex?". Please read into this further in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, one of the only really truly unfiltered unbiased authoritative sources of Catholic dogma today, for I am not truly qualified to argue completely for these beliefs due to my ignorance.
3- The next thing that PISSES ME OFF is the whole Terry Schiavo case, and the idiotic term "Right-to-die". Please, do not get me started on that, because I just get frustrated and end up not able to form coherent sentences and wanting to break things.
4- The following things also piss me off a lot at the moment:
-People who think that the radicals of a group of moral thought or religion are truly representative of their respective beliefs.
-People who cannot civilly argue about important moral topics, but continue to argue out of ignorance and pride.
-Um, ask me later, I'm sure I'll have more things to bitch about.
Please take this entry with a grain of salt. Understand that I love my religion and more than anything it kills me to see it attacked and even more so to see it misrepresented and incompentently argued for by those who inappropriately speak on behalf of it. Bottom line is, if you want facts about the Catholic Church's beliefs, read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, or read FOR YOURSELF the writings and speeches of the Pope. Do not settle for accepting snippets and paraphrasings from them, for, often, they are grossly out of context. Okay, I'm out for now.
EDIT: If you can't find a hard copy of the Catechism, here's a link to a pretty good online version, though it's a lot harder to read:
http://www.christusrex.org/www1/CDHN/ccc_cont.html
Mar. 22nd, 2005 @ 08:17 pm
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| » Update forthcoming |
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I'm going out with Melody Van Dusen. She is gorgeous. That should hold you all over for a couple days until I really update this thing.
Mar. 22nd, 2005 @ 12:28 am
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